The Things I Stopped Counting

I have been hard on myself lately.

I'm an Enneagram #9 in the triad with the 3s, which means I want to peacefully achieve every single day. I like to work out. I want to spend unhurried time with God. I want to help my wife and be present with my kids. I'm trying to learn Spanish (again). And somewhere in there, I want to get a lot accomplished at work.

One of my favorite books is Atomic Habits. I love the idea that small, consistent choices add up to a different life. But some seasons don't cooperate. A busy week, a sick kid, a mission trip to Guatemala, a schedule that shifts, and suddenly the routine is gone. I skip the workout. The book sits unopened. The hobby waits. The little pleasures I meant to give up creep back in.

And then the voice starts: You didn't stick to the plan. Again.

I got down on myself the other day. Then I had to stop and remember. Look at what is getting done, the things I stopped counting because they don't fit neatly on a habit tracker.

Driving your kids to school.

Praying in the car before you drop them off.

Waking up and making the sign of the cross before you brush your teeth.

Going to work faithfully.

Those aren't small. They're the ordinary places where God has been showing up all along, whether or not I checked a box.

Friends - take a PAUSE, a break, a moment of stillness in solitude to be silent before the Lord.

God is here.

With you.

Now.

No agenda but Jesus' presence.

Put the to-do list aside.

Sit with God.

Into the quiet.

Now.

In this present moment.

And hear from Him:

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)

So if you're where I was, try this with me. Right where you are.

Breathe out these words: shame and worry.

Breathe in these words: Holy Spirit, love, and peace.

Do it again. You don't have to earn this moment. You just have to be in it.

Here's what I needed to hear, and maybe you do too: God actually is at work. He is getting his will done with us, even though we are frail, broken down, lazy, forgetful, and stubborn.

Good habits are a gift, but my worth was never riding on my streak. The God who meets me in the car line and at the bathroom sink is the same God who promises to finish what he started.

So, tomorrow I'll try my planned routine again. And today, I'm going to start counting what he's already doing. May you do the same.